Hey. It’s been a while. So let me catch you up a little bit. Short story: I moved abroad, struggled to find a job, but now I’m getting back on my feet. Long story: I’ve written about this quite extensively, and in a number of posts, on pavlistyle.com. So, if you’re interested, go check that out and find the articles in my name.
But I’m alive, I’m ok and I just turned 24. It seems like a total cliche to say this but time really does fly by. Whenever I’m asked about my age I tend to hesitate a little because, in my mind, I’m still 19 years old. But every year that goes by, the number’s getting further from what is imprinted in my brain, and that’s scary but also satisfying at the same time. Without trying to sound like a complete narcissist, on the day I turned 24 (I’m going to keep saying I’m 24 so maybe I can get into grips of it myself) I looked in the mirror and was completely happy with what I saw. I might have the number 19 in my brain, but I’ve learnt so much and come so far in these five years.
I’ve decided to document a little memoir of what I’m going to promise myself in this coming year. So here it goes.
I’m going to try and be kinder to myself. One of my best qualities that I’ve acquired over the years is to try and push myself to the limit and to step out of my comfort zone. Although that is a great thing and I’m blessed to have learnt that all the best things come from situations that leave you scared shitless, I also tend to be hard on myself a tad too much. I’m going to try and allow myself space to make mistakes and not beat myself up over it. After all, failure is an important step is growing up.
I also want to treat my body with the love that it deserves. I’m experimenting with different food and nutritional plans at the moment. Although I can assure you I’m not going to turn into a vegetarian any time soon (there’s nothing wrong with that but I love my red meat way too much), I found that my body feels, and performs better during workouts, when I’m following a plant-based diet. I’ve never been a great cook but I have a talent of following a recipe religiously so this plan is working well so far. It also helps that my boyfriend knows a thing or two in the kitchen.
I want to give myself a few days off social media. I love social media and it’s also part of my job but it gets annoying to myself, and the people around me, to be constantly looking down at a screen. I’ve come to realise that having a few off days is important for my health and to strengthen my existing relationships and make new ones. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with distancing yourself from the world for a couple of days.
And the hardest one of all, but by far the most important one, is that I’m going to try and remember that I cannot control everything. One of my biggest weaknesses is that I get so utterly upset when plans change or when a particular situations changes at the last minute. Maybe, what I need to control is my own way of thinking to realise that it’s ok that plans change. It will always work out in the end. And if it doesn’t, that’s ok too.
Here’s to another year of constantly messing up my age!