I feel I need to explain myself and outline some kind of reason why I moved. I know I don’t need to explain myself to you but I think this is one step in trying to figuring out myself more. I’ve been told countless times that I wanted to move away from Malta ever since I was a little girl. My mum has this story of me always walking in front of them with my handbag slung on one arm, my phone in the other as if I live and breath in Oxford Street. At the time, I was convinced that London was going to be my home. I guess my mum always knew I had the courage and was willing to take the plunge of leaving the little rock I was born in. I wasn’t convinced I could do it myself. I’m sat on this longish flight to Glasgow and I still cannot believe I got this far. In the end, London evolved into Glasgow but my feeling of wanting to explore myself a bit better in a place that isn’t Malta remained constant.
I’m not a person with many regrets. As cliche as it sounds, I believe that everything happens for a reason. But I do have one simple moment in my life where I wish I acted a little braver than I did. I wanted to go on Erasmus. This might sound like a silly regret to most of you but I guess I can call this a turning point in my life. I wanted to go but I was too scared and unwilling to apply for more reasons than one. A few months ago, I was requested to go on a similar experience and I swore to myself that nothing would stop me from chasing my dreams, whatever they might be.
Long story short, my boyfriend decided to do his Masters course at a university in Glasgow and I decided to go with him. This might seem like a classic case of the supportive girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I am and this was the reason for my motivation to do something different with my life. But it wasn’t the sole reason. It started as an act of beating the long distance relationship but my reasons evolved and became much greater than simply acting as a follower.
I wanted to get a chance to be a new me. I liked the idea that I was going to a different country where I am practically known to no one. I could be whoever I want to be. I could start over and have a fresh start. I could try and fix the flaws in my character because no one knew they existed. I could be more bubbly, I could be less awkward in small-talk convrsations and I can try to be more open to people and not seem like a snob on first impressions. I’ll probably do all these things anyway. It might be in my nature. But this possibility of recreation appealed to me greatly.
I want to make new memories in a different country where I can just be happy. This sounds like a classic case of escapism but I have nothing to escape from. My life in Malta is great but I’d like the opportunity to express myself differently, to find out things about myself that I never knew existed. And what better way to do this than being in a completely different country where you have no history in it? At least that’s what I’m trying to convince myself.
Let me know if you’d like more of these little personal updates. I’m loving the idea of doing such posts. For a more relaxed feel to this journey, follow me on Instagram @lyngrima_splashesoflooks and on Snapchat @lyndzgrima.